Saying stuff...

That we are not sincere about.

Example.

We meet someone we know, and haven't seen in some time.

Automatically we ask them 'how are you doing'.

To which they will usually answer 'fine'.

Because both of you know that if they were to start giving you their life story, you would most likely stop listening, after about three seconds, and if they had had any misfortune, such as a bereavement, then your 'sorry to hear that' would be nothing more than a social nicety, but probably not heartfelt.

Besides, of course you would be sorry to freaking hear it.

What is the alternative..

You are happy to hear it!

I know at times listening to someone may be the proper thing to do. Though there is a simple solution to this problem. It is called being brutally honest. I had this happen to me many times before. The person just keeps on talking about things I have no interest in. Small talk in the worst way. I do things like look at my watch, and the such to try and give the person a clue I'm not really interested in what they are saying. After I have had all I can take. I will say.........
Dude it's nice seeing you again but your boring the hell out of me, and I really need to get going now. I have had various things happen after making a comment like that. I have had people get really mean, to people actually saying they were sorry for going on and on.

It is amazing to me. Someone who does not now me well. Only has seen me or talked with me a few times. Years later you run across these people.
They recognize you, and they just can't just say hello and stop there.

Sometimes you just have to be rude, if people don't get a clue.

I've heard small-talk described as music before. The purpose isn't to convey information - it's a pleasant exchange between two people, and both understand that the other isn't really interested in what they have to say.

There is an art to small talk, I think... you want to share the synopsis when someone says 'how are you?' When people get bogged down in too much detail, monotony sets in.

What's really interesting about this subject is that you have time to discuss how other people's small talk is unavoidably annoying... yet you don't want to take time to be polite to your acquaintences.

Kazza wrote:I've heard small-talk described as music before. The purpose isn't to convey information - it's a pleasant exchange between two people, and both understand that the other isn't really interested in what they have to say.

That's nicely put that, mate.

How are you, these days...

Sorry to hear that doesn't cut it in my book... If someone I know has had a loss/pain/something bad I will try and think of words/quotes/examples of encouragement and try to "help" them.

Helping others gives my ego such a magnificent boost......

17 wrote:
Helping others gives my ego such a magnificent boost......

Can you give me £1000 please?

Thanks

Helping with words as I said gives me an ego boost

I have no monies for ewe! If I were a millionaire I would cause then it wouldn't effect me, hence help my ego more so.

I used to be all about the polite conversation. Then I got married. My husband is one of those guys that if you ask how he's doing, he answers honestly. (He hates small talk, therefore he figures the fastest way to get someone to shut up is to give them an answer they don't expect.) I've now kind of become similar, small talk irritates me. Yes, I realize that I knew you a few years ago. But honestly, I don't care how you're doing and I'm not going to ask. When my husband and I bump into someone and they ask us how we're doing, it's usually a one word answer, we don't ask back, and then we move on. Sure, it might be rude, but I guess I just don't care.

LOL might? It might be rude..... *chuckles*

I wager you tend to stay at home alot(keep to "yourself") and don't have many "friends of the family"?

How, sad.

17 wrote:LOL might? It might be rude..... *chuckles*

I wager you tend to stay at home alot(keep to "yourself") and don't have many "friends of the family"?

How, sad.

You know what they say about assuming...

I'm the oldest of 4 kids, both my parents are divorced and remarried. I am close to my entire immediate family as well as most of my step siblings and my step mom. I also have several friends. I go out with them 1-2 times a week, just depending on how much time I have. My friends and family appreciate my honesty. I'm not a mean person, but I'm not going to lie to someone. If I haven't seen someone in 3 years it's probably because I didn't like them, so if I see them in the store I really dont' have a desire to speak to them.

Anyway, I feel that this post has sufficiently made the ass part of assume applicable to you.