That we are not sincere about.
Example.
We meet someone we know, and haven't seen in some time.
Automatically we ask them 'how are you doing'.
To which they will usually answer 'fine'.
Because both of you know that if they were to start giving you their life story, you would most likely stop listening, after about three seconds, and if they had had any misfortune, such as a bereavement, then your 'sorry to hear that' would be nothing more than a social nicety, but probably not heartfelt.
Besides, of course you would be sorry to freaking hear it.
What is the alternative..
You are happy to hear it!
Example.
We meet someone we know, and haven't seen in some time.
Automatically we ask them 'how are you doing'.
To which they will usually answer 'fine'.
Because both of you know that if they were to start giving you their life story, you would most likely stop listening, after about three seconds, and if they had had any misfortune, such as a bereavement, then your 'sorry to hear that' would be nothing more than a social nicety, but probably not heartfelt.
Besides, of course you would be sorry to freaking hear it.
What is the alternative..
You are happy to hear it!